:: State of Mind ::

:: Thursday, November 14, 2002 ::

sunday was such an amazing day! what fun! jack and i met up at toys-r-us again at 11:00 just like last week. from there we visited virgin megastore again in search of christmas music. he ended up with neal diamond for his mother and i with the soundtrack of the rockettes christmas show. lunch was at olive garden and then it was off to the Met for some culture as we took in the art and i had to endure jack's moments of "feeling smarter"....(insert chanting monks here). anyway...the walk was long but enjoyable. we have decided to take a trip into the city after thanksgiving for the sole purpose of getting our picture made with THE REAL SANTA... at macy's. i cant wait. i love doing that but generally i have such a hard time finding someone who is willing to get a pic made with me. on our way back from the met we were stopped for the purpose of settling a debate on the definition of ironic....hmmm...leave it to people such as jack and myself to be asked to define something like that...ironic in itself. but it was fun. dinner was at chilis and then we say red dragon. GREAT MOVIE! scared the crap out of me but it was awesome. i think i might have cut off the blood flow in jacks arm but luckily my nails are short so i didnt draw blood. anyway... it was a great time even though jack had to pull a mission impossible in order to pull it off. oh yeah...he even was great enough to stand with me on 41st in order to get a pic of joey fatone. i know iknow...its stupid and no i am not a fan....but the fact that he played mark in rent, and i saw that show a few weeks ago...i felt it would be neat to have the pic. call me crazy..i dont mind. anyway....other than that...not a whole lot has happened lately. oh monday when i came in from doing laundry there was a deer curled up at the foot of my driveway...at the corner of the road and the drive. had six or eight points...and just layed there, chillin. like it was nothing. i thought it was so bizarre. friday was the kick off to the disciple now weekend at church. they had a great turnout. the band....living stone...from a daughter church in livingston NJ...very good. sweet people. and the speaker was very good as well....great even. from california, his name has escaped me for the moment but i wrote it in my bible so its ok. anyway....im gonna go here in a sec. i just got off the phone w/ jack. his surgery is tomorrow and he is bored in the hospital. hope everything goes well. hes so awesome. a very funny dude. this weekend i am headed to westpoint to see fosse the musical and see him in recovery. should be a fun time...should only be about an hour and a half drive...not too bad. anyway...getting tired quickly. may post more later. until then.......goodnight!
Angel
(oh yeah...got a haircut today! which is a big deal for me. i dont let people mess w/ my hair....at least not w/ scissors! but it looks good so im ok!)
:: BAlbretsen 12:12:00 AM [+] ::
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My Caleb,
you have outdone yourself....evoked tears and then laughter. thank you! you are amazing. i really appreciate the "hug." especially after today! i needed it. I COULD JUST KISS YOU RIGHT NOW! im enjoying the rain right now! literally and figuratively. you know... i have a question. i know i have asked this previously but now that this moment has become a reality, i must ask again because the original answer is now fuzzy. do i have a new compilation of great music or do i have some subliminal messages thrown in there as well. you are so complicated. and i think its great. but its hard to tell myself to NOT read more into it than whats there. i cant help it...its my nature. im over analyzing and reading things into this "rain" and i dont know if i am supposed to or not. if im not...please tell me. i need a bit of clarification on this issue even though i know you dont like to give it. sorry. but really. you AMAZE me. thank you! thank you! thank you! i could hug you forever. really....... i cried. can you believe that? i cried....and took in my "hug" and let it linger. then as i type these very words, i am engulfed by a tidal wave of emotion through lyrics that speak louder than anything i have heard in a very long while. words are not adequite to express how i feel as a result of...your actions and thoughts. i feel unworthy. something so simple, yet so EXTRAVIGANT because of the thought and effort. you arent typical. but you know that. you are a masterpiece.....success by design. outside the box and coloring outside the lines, you paint pictures of briliant colors that add light to my world. an illuminating work that is infatuating. how can i describe this. i am blown away. no one has done anything like this before....that is...put such thought into something that makes such a difference. picked up on the little things in order to make me happier. again i thank you! i feel so alive for the very first time.
i enjoy this and enjoy you...like the rain!
Angel
:: BAlbretsen 11:33:00 PM [+] ::
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emotions...unknown..overwhelmed. melancholy, tears...not yet surfacing, but felt burning underneath the surface. tired, yet to "off" to sleep. mind at a stand still, yet racing. thoughts that cannot be explained or expressed. dreams, desires, hidden. trusting, doubting...holding back. yearning. searching for a peace. where did this absent feeling come from? one moment fine. then later, heavy hearted...burdened. deep sighs.... cleansing breaths. everything is right...yet something is wrong. unable to figure it out. what exactly is that "wrong".....that missing piece. why did this wave crash on this peaceful shore...breaking the silence. stirring up what once stood still. crash.
:: BAlbretsen 9:52:00 PM [+] ::
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